This is the Funniest story I've read in a long time.
ANDREW J. BERNSTEIN ace cub reporter at The Saratogian reports today that our trees have been stuck by a mysterious Disease.
http://www.saratogian.com/articles/2009/11/12/news/doc4afb78387a63c062463575.txt
According to the Story and I am not making this up Commissioner of Public Works Skip Scirocco high school graduate and renowned global warming expert reports that leaf pickup has been so pathetic this year because
“it’s because leaves are staying on the trees longer.”
So remember folks its not because Scirocco is an idiot or that he never leaves his office or the fact that the unions run DPW. No it’s because of GLOBAL WARMING.
He went on to say
“The Department of Public Works was not able to provide a list of how many employees were working to collect leaves, or what streets had been cleaned’”
How nice nobody even knows what anyone else is doing, why am I not surprised?
Tell me BERNSTEIN did you keep a straight face when you were writing this crap? What are you going for the Deputy Commissioner of Public Works post?
I repeat for the tenth time “POLICE AND FIREMAN ARE GOING TO BE LAID OFF”
Scirocco’s crews are out driving in circles collecting unnecessary overtime and people are about to lose there jobs.
THAT’S THE STORY BERNSTEIN NOT THIS CRAP!!!!!
14 comments:
This is fucking sad. Berstsen has his nose so far up Skippy’s arse he would need a proctologist to remove it. The boys are just milking it for all there worth and I don’t blame them there just looking out for them selves and that’s just human nature but were is the supervision?
Half these fucking DPW workers have multiple wives 20 children from multiple women have their paychecks go to child support and other to court ordered collections then they bitch they can’t live on their salaries .Tough shit next time keep your dick in your pants.
I really really hate you.
I seen these 4 city workers just standing there twittling their thumbs,1 running what looked to be a 90lb. jackhammer,as I looked,the hose of the jackhammer came off,which sent all 5 on a frenzy! meanwhile Im laughing my ass off! the hose whipped round till someone shut it off, STUPID FUCKS! there is a pin to lock the hose on! OSHA would have loved this!,the pic is of 1 guy putting the hose back on,the rest went back to jacking off! NO PUN! LOL,,I bet they`ll be there all day,check it out,OUR TAXES HARD AT PLAY!
Another problem is that the city started planting a species of maple that holds its leaves longer into November and early December. If the Norway maple wasn't enough of a problem for early pickup, the city started planting pear trees and other non-local varieties that hold their leaves till February when an early snowstorm will have already destroyed the trees as their limbs break off.
But it'll take a car sliding on a bed of wet leaves through an intersection and some quick thinking lawyer to find negligence with the practice of waiting three weeks to pick up the already raked leaves. Even though the Norways have been around a long time so that and the warmer late season may have something to do with the DPW’s approach this year or not. Get an Elm.
Val will save us...
Hurry Val!
Humanity awaits.
Anyone know what happened to the Village Idiot?
I refer, of course, to the Spittin' Corporal.
Is he dead; alive; in prison; in the nut house; dating Val Keehn; dating Shawn Thompson? What?
I miss the nutty bastard!
Check out Bernsteins'blog, "apolitical vote from Murphy" 8th comment...if you have any questions regarding DPWs'management practices call Andrew bernstein.. usually you'd call DPW if you had any problems but it appears now the Saratogian which can't manage itself, will answer any and all questions you might have regarding the DPW,now there's collaboration
No mystery, no special tree specie issue. The leaves are in the street for only one reason. Four DPW drivers have been awarded DWI certificates to display on their walls. DPW doesn't have enough legal drivers for the job.
Maybe if the lazy fucks would put a tarp on their loads they wouldn't be blowing down the street as they go flying through my neighborhood.But then again that would call for common sense.
Imaginary Interview by the Saratogian Reporter:
Mr. Bernstein: Commissioner, how come the leaves that have already been raked and piled at the curbs in many residential neighborhoods for two weeks, have not been picked up?
Commissioner Skippy: It's been a tough season Andy. I can't get any certified drivers to run the equipment, because the regular four guys lost their driving privileges.
Mr. Bernstein: So what do I tell my readers?
Commissioner Skippy: Tell them anything, tell them that the leaves haven’t All fallen down yet. That should hold them for a while.
Mr. Bernstein: I could add something about global warming and the greenhouse effect. What do you think?
Commissioner Skippy: Oh, I wish I were chasing dogs again.
Mr. Bernstein:
The crew came through last weekend - one guy driving the loader with the clam shell did 90 pecent of the work. There were two guys driving the dump trucks. Then there were about 4 yahoos standing around with the rakes most of the time (must be the DWI's). When the clam shell came through, there was always a few leaves against the curb or that came out from the bottom of the loader. Do you think ANY of them would attempt to rake the mess up so that the streets looked like a 6 man crew had done the job. NO, just stand there, break the neighbors trash barrel and yack with the other over paid yahoos while the guys in the warm cabs did all the work. Privatization is the way to go - there is way to much waste going on and for way to long.
Listen fuckwad,you keep this shit up and you'll have a plow blade up your ass.
I'm so sick of union workers who bitch and complain and make us pay them
Price chopper store jobs barely pay $8/hr (this is if you have years of experience, otherwise its minimum). Part timers can't even get benefits for one year. You don't get any discounts or any perks at all.that? People with college do work there..
I'll shed no tears for you join the rest of us in the daily stuggle
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