On the opening night of the Philadelphia Orchestra at SPAC, concert goers were given the twin treat of being greeted by SPAC president and former disgraced NYS Senate majority leader Joe Bruno's alleged girlfriend Marcia J. White{salary$300,000}and Philadelphia Orchestra president Allison B. Vulgamore {salary $597,000 here}.
Looking like New York’s first married lesbian couple under the recently passed gay marriage bill, White gave a rambling incoherent speech that among other things called the nights guest soloist violinist Sarah Chang a great “vocalist” and then she went on to congratulate herself and the board, along with Ms. Vulgamore for making SPAC possible, never once thanking the crowd for coming. Looking like a fur ball my cat coughed up, Ms. White has never been at ease in front of a large crowd. Lacking any sense of fashion style or personal charisma Ms. White’s forte is said to be one-on-one interactions to squeeze large contributions out of leading corporations by cultivating personal relationships with the leading movers and shakers of these companies. How she accomplishers that is beyond me but her personal talents are said to be quite diverse and legendary.Ms. Vulgamore is also a controversial figure, having implemented savage personnel cuts, double-digit salary reductions for the players, while giving herself a hefty bonus even though figures between 2007 and 2010, describe only one subscriber of medium tenure - several years rather than decades - gave a gift of more than $10,000. Which raises the question: exactly what in hell has Philly's high-priced management been doing with itself, if not raising money?
That segway brings me back to White.HSBC has been the largest single corporate donor to SPAC the last several seasons. Now they appear to be heading south HERE and I can only assume not withstanding Ms. Whites cozy and personal relationships with a couple of HSBC regional bigwigs their money to SPAC will also be heading south. That’s the problem Ms. White with having all your eggs in one basket.
So what is Ms. White to do? For starters her fucking job. A couple of cozy sleepovers in your SPAC owned Manhattan apartment ain’t exactly what I would call conventional fundraising. The ballet and the Orchestra are in mortal danger here sweetheart and without them your nice little job will be going south along with your close, personal friends in HSBC. You and your salary are barely tolerated now, lose either of these two icons and you'll be sitting on the SPAC lawn with your better dressed neigbors.
So now against my better judgement I’m going to help you.
First forget about Dake and Mary Lou and your other tired old war horses. New and bigger players are in town.
Learn some Arabic and manners, dress better, a fashion consultant wouldn’t hurt and don’t bill it to SPAC you little twit.
Call Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum, the Ruler of Dubai and owner of Godolphin Racing and the global Darley breeding operation. He is staying over on Nelson Ave in the old Jock Whitney estate that he purchased and then than sunk millions into. The 106-acre former Jock Whitney Estate sold for $17.5 million to Sheik Mohammed who bought it from Houston Texans owner Robert McNair.
I’m serious, here is his facebook page {here} sent him a message, invite him to Dinner. Tell him you know it is Ramadan your Highness, but please allow me to break the fast with you and perhaps we can discuss you commissioning a ballet for next year’s SPAC and NYCB season, maybe something in the vein of Arabian nights? See was that so fucking hard? Now the correct way of greeting a Moslem is As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم) often translated as Peace be upon you.
Now what about Fasig-Tipton which was purchased by the Dubai based company Synergy Investments Ltd. They are now spending millions of dollars in renovations and have given generously to the Saratoga Community. Al Habbai the principle owner of Fasig Tipton is a close associate of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum. Call him, get off your ass.
And let’s not forget the AbuDhabi owned GlobalFoundries Inc. The world's third largest independent semiconductor foundry, right in your back yard, I’ve haven’t seen their name on the program.
Just the other day I was at the pool and two charming men approached me about the Arabic tattoed on by arm. After they read it {it says “Allah protect me, Allah forgive me, Allah never forget me for I am your child} I found out they were Dubai investment bankers shopping for a downtown condo. When I asked if they might be willing to donate to SPAC their reply was “No one ever asked us?”
So ask them your moron. Before I negotiate my own deal contingent on you being fired
11 comments:
HSBC might be pulling out of upstate NY but no one ever pulled out of Ms.White
I just loved that last line, JT. Great piece.
Such a disturbing thought: Marcia and Joe.
Yuk
You are cantankerous buzzard JT!
Well done. Sharp wits and tongues clean up lots of crap sometimes.
I think I better start learning Arabic,
Oy vey iz mir
Even more disturbing Ms.White and Ms.Vulgamore.
They don't call her Vulvamore for nothing.
Maybe Vanguard will be signing up some of the Arabs to replace the Bronfman Brats dough once that dries up.
Arabs have a saying, which loosely translated means:
"He doesn't have the face of a liar."
In other words, they have an uncanny ability to know one when they see one.
That's actually brilliant, John - what better way to include and incorporate the new "big money" players into the community than by asking them to contribute and get involved. And also give the community the chance to get to know the "arabs" in the area in a better light than the usual subtle prejudice that seems to underlie a lot of attitude about people from the middle east.
John, you are a man of many talents. You would be great in Marcia's job and probably could take the train to meetings in NYC like a normal person (ie no Manhattan apt. and expensive car). I think the AJ just announced another investigation into nonprofits, receiving gov't funds who are giving expensive salaries and perks to their fearless leaders. You are way more knowledgible about the ballet and the arts. You'd be great!
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