Saratoga Tattoo Expo rolls into town: Don’t tell Commissioner of Public Morality Christian Mathiesen

I admit it’s a slow news day so I will review the Saratoga Tattoo Expo for my more timid readers who couldn’t make it, but by all means check it out yourself, runs through 7 tonight.

Saturday was just one of those picture perfect days in downtown Saratoga. The homeless were awaking {more on that later} the peaceniks {god bless them} were protesting and the very tattooed and pierced bodies of the Expo were mingling with the nice ladies of Saratoga. I love to see a diverse crowd in Saratoga. The well-scrubbed and well-coffied of Saratoga can frankly become a little boring.

I and Joyce wandered up to the Saratoga Tattoo Expo to check out the action. I like to think of myself as a guy who is just as comfortable at a Hells Angels pig roast as I am at the Metropolitan Opera. I’ve been to countless gun shows and gay pride events, protests and riots from Buenos Aires to Paris, nothing shocks me but this was hard to watch.


Yes she was skewered by meat hooks in her knees and lifted abet briefly into the air by said meat hooks. The group is called “Just Flesh”.
Now I’ve broken both my knees and had a compound fracture {I can still remember the sound, it was like a chicken bone breaking} of the right fibula in my right leg but this looked painful.

All I could think of is she looked like someone who would be hooked up to a trolling rod and cast out to be used for shark bait while fishing the gulf. I was half expecting Commissioner of Public Morality Christian Mathiesen to come charging in with a squad of Saratoga’s finest shouting “this is out of control and dangerous STOP STOP”. But in the end the crowd gasp and covered their eyes, she was hoisted down and limped away. I swear there has got to be an easier way to make a living.

There were some great T-Shirts in the crowd.
My top three
number 3- Satan is my copilot
Number 2-I love children there tasty
And Number 1


Now I don’t want readers to think the entire event was mayhem and pain. There were great artists, a Johnny Cash cover band, food and fun. The event was packed with people and the Tattoo artists tables were covered by bodies wincing in pain. So by all means check it out today, till 7pm.

The other thing I noticed yesterday is since the new parking garage displaced the city’s homeless from their usual perch, they have relocated to Broadway. Contrary to what the rich elites in this city want you to believe we’re not the fabulously wealthy Beverly Hills of the North.

The homeless population in general is growing and the city is no exception. While Cops and Fireman pull in 100k a year the working classes are taxed to oblivion. As poverty grows the rich elites such as Nancy Goldberg and the public sector spongers the Benton’s become more and more frightened of the great unwashed masses. This leaves the wealthy dentist Christian Mathiesen to call for more and more police to placate the fears of the rich. By constantly banging the drum of fear, the populace comes to believe they need more police to protect them from the hungry mob. Programs for the poor are cut,the public safety budget grows and more cops get more overtime and more toys.
The end product in this arms race? Higher taxes, more poverty, more crime, at least that’s how I see it.

So please don’t think I’m making light of the homeless in this next piece, I’m just using satire to ridicule the vast wasteland we call “American culture” and reality TV.

I think I'll write a script for a new pilot for a reality TV show.

Homeless apprentice dude, Saratoga Springs .

You know pick a team of young newly homeless guys and girls. Pair them with one of our hardcore experienced homeless. The competition possibilities are endless.

Let’s see homeless cooking, and the winner is?
Homeless couple one, who dazzled our audience with Congress Park Duck and dumpster diving salad.

Next bottle recovery contest.

Moving on to the Bogart the bottle Contest.

Then who can be first in line at the free clinic ?

Then best improvised shower at a Public bathroom?

Sleeping in Libraries,bring a pillow or not?

Then we come back next spring to revisit our contestants to see who froze to death and who lives another year.
Anyway you get the point.

I will be at the City Council pre-agenda meeting tomorrow morning. Till then look at the poverty that’s growing around you and remember “But by the grace go God go I”